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Doc Holidays
by Patrick (4/27/99) Have you ever been disappointed that you didn't grow up redneck trailer trash? Good news! You can now catch a quick glimpse of what your destitute and useless existence would be like! All you wannabe Jeff Foxworthys should mosey on down and checkout Doc Holiday's as soon as possible. From the street the bar looks almost enjoyable. This original feeling of security is quickly battered into submission by the relentless onslaught of syrupy country western and classic rock. (The musical highlight of my evening was the country-fied version of "Wild Horses." I guess the Stones version was just too rockin'.) The situation grows even more bleak when your eyes adjust to the thankfully dim lighting. Apparently the clientele consists of three general groups: wannabe bikers, wannabe rednecks and Upper East Side preppies. What more could you ask for? As I was thoroughly despising everything that caught my attention, I noticed a commotion on the other side of the bar. I felt my interest piqued for the first time of this dreary evening. Could it be a fight? (To me, there is nothing so invigorating and life affirming than watching two useless members of society try and snub each other's lives out on the ashtray of macho grandstanding.) Fire? (Even in that, my darkest hour, I couldn't force myself to believe in divine intervention.) Free turns on the computerized sexual trivia game? (To a crowd like this, there is nothing more thrilling than correctly answering challenging questions like: "The medical name of male genitalia.") No, no, no... The commotion was caused when one of the patron's motorcycles was knocked over. Imagine that, a motorcycle parked on a busy sidewalk gets knocked over. In my opinion, the idiot deserved it. For about forty-five minutes, ten outraged bikers were milling about the sidewalk alternately examining the bike and looking to beat the crap out of somebody. The quick run down: watered down drinks, bad service, rude patrons. If you think a leather vest is the ultimate in macho fashion, this is the place for you. |
My rating - |
